is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
