I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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