totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What a dumb baby whore.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
