At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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