You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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