I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this just has baby written all over it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
