I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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