idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
