were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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