Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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