Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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