He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
