He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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