I want to walk on stilts...naked
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
