I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There are leaves in my underwear?
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