I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
