garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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