hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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