I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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