So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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