Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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