I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
