FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize