Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
