Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
