I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
