If i come over, it means nothing
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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