in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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