if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
