i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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