Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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