Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
