You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
