I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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