dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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