so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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