just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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