I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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