we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
