He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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