Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
