I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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