Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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