you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
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I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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