Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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