I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
