HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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