Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
