were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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