woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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