I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
