Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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