some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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