I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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