You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
bring money and cleavage
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
