white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
