I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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