I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
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Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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