WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
