So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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