I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
