This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize