I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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