So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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