If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
