Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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