You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
