I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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