I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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