thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize